Funny Golfing Quotes . I had a few beers in the. I forgot to play the back nine - Bruce Lansky. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated. Gardner Dickinson. I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm. Harry Tofcano. I play in the low 8. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play - Anon. Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money - Lee Trevino. The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil - Unknown. ![]() ![]() If you think it's hard to meet new. Jack Lemmon. I'd like to. Then everybody would have to play from the. Seve Ballesteros. Golf! You hit. down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The. lowest score wins.
And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks - Anon. Golf is a game. whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons. ![]() Winston Churchill. How did you know?' Robert questioned. The car driver lost control and crashed. The fire engine was unable to reach. Now, what do you intend to do. Robert thought it over very carefully and responded', I think I'll close. Just ask my. ex - wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands. He turned to his caddy and said', You must be the worst caddy in the world.'. That would be too much of a. ![]() Golfer: Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake. Caddy: Think you can keep your head down that long? Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron? Caddy: Eventually. Golfer: You've got to be the worst caddy in the world. ![]() Huge list of funny retirement quotes, sayings and greetings. The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time. Golf slogans, golf phrases and golf sayings can unite, inspire and motivate. Here’s our huge collection of golfing slogans, phrases, sayings, motto’s and quotes. Caddy: I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence. Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time. Golfer: How do you like my game? Caddy: Very good. I prefer golf. Golfer: Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday? Caddy: The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day. Golfer: This is the worst course I've ever played on. Caddy: This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago. Golfer: That can't be my ball, it's too old. Caddy. It's been a long time since we teed off, sir. Golf Handicap. Ralph was a smooth operator, and at Southwick Golf Club's annual dance he. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us. Grantland Rice Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how. childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to. John Updike It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the. Robert Lynd If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the. Hutchinson. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is. more complicated than that. Gardner Dickinson If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they. Sam Snead Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. William. Wordsworth If you drink, don't drive. Dean Martin If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it. Tommy Bolt The Back Nine - Funny Golf Quotes Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally. Bishop Sheen I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes. Arnold Palmer My handicap? Chris Codiroli The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a. Pete Dye I'm hitting the woods just great, but having a terrible time. Buddy Hackett The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. Mark Twain Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. Harry. Vardon May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters. The Joy of Being Retired Funny. Retirement Quotes and Sayings This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny. This is in line with the philosophy of The Joy of Being Retired Website, which is. A number of these quotes about retirement may come from the. Retirement. Quotes webpage in the world but many are unique to this. These funny retirement sayings can be. Half of my neighbors will have to develop. Hey dandelions are great and highly nutritious (just don't eat. I'd prefer to skip that dry stuff and just down the. Unknown person commenting on USA TODAY article Retirement planning: Assume you won't get. Social Security. Number 3 of Top- Ten Positive Retirement. Quotes. Retirement itself is the best . No gold watch could ever top it.— Abigail Charleson. Number 4 of Top- Ten Positive Retirement. Quotes. If my dreams could all come true paradise/retirement. Unknown wise person. Number 5 of Top- Ten Positive Retirement Quotes. Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without. Gene Perret. Number 6 of Top- Ten Positive Retirement Quotes. I really stay busy . I often have to. cancel my golf games on the weekends to go play in tennis tournaments.— Richard Davies. Number 7 of Top- Ten Positive Retirement Quotes. There is life after retirement, and it is. BETTER.— Catherine Pulsifer. Number 8 of Top- Ten Positive Retirement Quotes. Retire from. work, but not from. M. Soni. Number 9 of Top- Ten Positive Retirement Quotes. I'm not retiring from life, just a job.— Unknown wise person. Number 1. 0 of Top- Ten Positive Retirement. Quotes. Yes, I am thoroughly enjoying retirement! The best. part is observing my neighbors drive off to work in the morning knowing that their day will be filled with. Bill Kalmar More Funny Retirement Quotes. Besides the following funny retirement quotes, check out the. Retirement Quotes for Smart. People on the Sensational Quotes for Smart People Website. Also check out the world's best. How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free by. Ernie Zelinski of VIP Books. I'm now as free as the breeze — with roughly the same. Author Unknown. A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell 'em. to get a life.— Larry Laser. Let's spend all our money to. Later we can sell it all on e. Bay to pay for our retirement.— from Glasbergen cartoon. If you want the best retirement outcome possible, get rich. Well, my retirement plan was to retire early — which I did — and have you pay for my. Thanks.— Anon wise retiree. The Republican Party is a friend of Social Security the way Colonel. Sanders was a friend of chickens.— Charles T. Manatt. If you are going to go broke before retirement, retire first.— Dave Erhard. God has a plan for your retirement.— Billy Graham. When you see how some people work you wonder what they will do in. Author Unknown. I’m retired. You on the other hand have to go to work.— Unknown wise person. An Important Serious Retirement Quote. The World's Best Retirement Book That Has Already. Sold Over 3. 10,0. Copies (Excerpt from a review of The. World's Best Retirement Book on November 8, 2. Financial. Post)To be sure, retirement books. They view the finish line as. That’s where Ernie Zelinski’s. How to Retire Happy, Wild, and. Freebegins.— Jonathan Chevreau, retirement columnist with the National. Post Still More Funny Retirement Quotes and Retirement. Sayings. Never get out of bed before. Charles Bukowski. The best retirement for workaholics. Anon workaholic. Before deciding to take early. Author Unknown. When a man retires and time is no. R. C. Sherriff. Retirement: It's nice to get out of. Gene Perret. Everyone who does not work has a scheme that does.— Munder's Law. If. laughter was the best medicine, you can bet there'd be a line of high- priced- prescription jokes . Don't anyone kid you!— Earl in Mr Boffo Cartoon You spend your whole life believing. Author Unknown. Except for an occasional heart. I feel as young as I ever did.— Robert Benchley. I have retired, unretired, and retired again all. I find the biggest trouble with having NOTHING to do is . Zelinski. Author of World's Best. Retirement Book. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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